turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
