I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
this hospital has no fireball
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
