John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
