I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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