In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
