did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
