My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wish i was in the wii world.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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