Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
