Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
