The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
