i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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