Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize