Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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