I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
