Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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