Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Come see our sink grown plant.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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