I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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