is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
