i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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