But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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