i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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