Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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