So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
