my sisters under your porch take her home
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
