He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
