so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my being single is dangerous.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
