He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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