I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize