I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
