we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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