I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
