But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
