My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
