tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
