i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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