What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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