i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
