Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
