Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize