Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
