help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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