If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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