return my video game
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
