i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
