you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
