I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
