NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
