i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
