I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
