Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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