well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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