So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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