The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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