it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
