all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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