im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
