do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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