is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize