I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
