He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
