if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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