I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
