i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
