Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
