am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize