That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
