Are we in a gay sports bar?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This is the high leading the old right now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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