its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
