Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
